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02/28/2010 – “Grace for God’s Best in Relationships” IV – Unequal Yokes

We must become more dependent on the Word and not people.

February 28, 2010

Grace for God’s Best in Relationships IV
(Unequal Yokes)
Pastor George M. Matthews, II

A. Five Basic Categories of Relationships
1. Business relationships
2. Casual relationships – relationships with associates
3. Friendships
4. Domestic relationships or marital relationships
5. Kingdom relationships – you enter this type of relationship once you are born again. As this series progresses, we will understand the role of the pastor to the congregation and vice versa.

B. Keys to God’s Best in Relationships

To have a successful relationship:
1. I must know what the Word of God says about the relationship in order to function according to purpose.
a) DANGER: not defining a relationship by the Word negates God’s involvement.
2. I must evaluate myself based on the Word.
3. I must identify the adjustment necessary to bring the relationship in alignment with the Word.
4. I must be willing to change.
a) Change is defined as human effort sustained by divine assistance.
b) Failure to change is the key culprit to broken relationships.
5. Frustrated grace is what happens when individuals refuse to either change or conduct themselves according to the standard of the Word of God.

C. Adam and Eve Fall From Grace

1. Man was first created in the spiritual realm in Genesis 1:26-28 26And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.  27So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.  28And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
2. Man did not manifest in the natural realm until Genesis 2:7 7And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul – and was created to be another speaking spirit just like God.
3. In other words, grace is the process of speaking and seeing.
4. Adam and Eve had the grace of God on their lives – the ability to be in the earth as God is in heaven, but lost it or fell from grace by Satan’s trickery.

A. Grace can be Frustrated
–  Galatians 2:21 21I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain.
1. Grace can be frustrated by wrong relationships as seen with Adam and Eve.

B. Identifier of Bad Relationships
– II Corinthians 11:3 3But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.   
1. You know you are in a bad relationship when that relationship moves you from the simplicity you have learned in Christ.

C. Grace Operates Much Like Peace
– Colossians 3:15 (The KJV & The Amplified Bible) 15And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
The Amplified Bible 15And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].
1. Allow the umpire of peace decision to be the final decision.
2. Grace is a safeguard that God has placed on the inside of believers to protect them from hurt.

– I John 2:20 (KJV & The Amplified Bible) 20But ye have an unction from the Holy One, and ye know all things.
The Amplified Bible 20But you have been anointed by [you hold a sacred appointment from, you have been given an unction from] the Holy One, and you all know [the Truth] or you know all things.

When your unction is functioning you know things and do not have to experience the pain of it.
GRACE: Free favor; mercy from God demonstrated in the lives of believers to accomplish supernatural feats
to benefit; to enhance; to enrich; to distinguish with honor; to make unlike; to honor; to set off; to advantage another; a special endowment for your task/life – (I Corinthians 3:10, The Amplified Bible); the ability to supernaturally accomplish tasks
FAVOR: Preferential treatment; God doing for you in the supernatural realm what you cannot do for yourself in the natural realm; God raising up people to use their power, wisdom, influence and ability to help you with your life’s assignment
ACCESS: Operates much like a security code that gives entry into a thing own so that it is not accessible to the enemy; admittance; entry; entrance; permission to enter; the right of entry; the right to enter; passage; a road; a route; a course; the door to God’s system of grace; Grace is accessed by  principle and partnership; access into the spiritual realm – Colossians 1:16
FAITH: Faith in God is believing that He is – Hebrews 11:6; God is the supreme power of the universe; faith of God means to use your faith like God uses His faith; the faith of God is expressed by saying; my saying what the Word of God says about my situation – St. Mark 11:22-23; faith is that which transforms conditions, circumstances and situations in your life
PEACE: Nothing missing, nothing lacking, nothing broken, nothing needed, nothing wanted; shalom (Hebrew) a position now where the ability of God has settled all issues
REIGN: Rule, dominate, control, govern, run the show, to be on top (grace puts the believer on top)
FRUSTRATE: To set aside, to disesteem, to neutralize or violate, to cast off, despised, disannul, to bring to naught or reject
TRUTH: The Word of God is truth – St. John 17:17


A. St. John 1:17 (KJV & The Amplified Bible) 17For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.
-The Amplified Bible 17For while the Law was given through Moses, grace ([a]unearned, undeserved favor and spiritual blessing) and truth came through Jesus Christ.
1. We are under a new economy of grace and truth – St. John 17:17 17Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth..  In other words, we operate by grace and the Word.
2. We are living in an era where profuse favor abounds – St. Luke 4:19, The Amplified Bible 19To proclaim the accepted and acceptable year of the Lord [the day [b]when salvation and the free favors of God profusely abound.(B)
3. We have grace to handle any mountain that shows in our life – I Corinthians 10:13 13There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

B. Romans 5:1-2 (KJV & The Amplified Bible) 1Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:  2By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
-The Amplified Bible 1THEREFORE, SINCE we are justified ([a]acquitted, declared righteous, and given a right standing with God) through faith, let us [grasp the fact that we] have [the peace of reconciliation to hold and to [b]enjoy] peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One). 2Through Him also we have [our] access (entrance, introduction) by faith into this grace (state of God’s favor) in which we [firmly and safely] stand. And let us rejoice and exult in our hope of experiencing and enjoying the glory of God.

C. Ephesians 3:20 (KJV & The Amplified Bible) 20Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
– The Amplified Bible 20Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]—

I. Applications of Right Relationships

A. All three dimensions of mankind – spirit, body, and soul, must operate at their optimal level of grace to have successful relationships. (I Thessalonians 5:23 23And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.).
B. Each dimension of man has five distinct characteristics that are to work to our advantage.
1. Body: the five physical senses
2. Soul: mind, emotion, will, intellect and imagination
3. Spirit: prayer, worship, faith, praise and reverence
C. When Adam and Eve fell from grace, they lost the ability to have grace function at its maximum.
D. When all 15 of the categories that make up man is functioning, a grace will come on us and we will operate at our maximum relationally.

II. Three Relationships Guards to Avoid Failure

A. Guard your emotions (Proverbs 4:23): do not allow your emotions to be played with. In other words, you must be alright being alone.
B. Guard your natural area of your life: you cannot make excuses for where you are. Whenever you begin to make excuses for where you are, you open the door for satanic attack.
C. Guard your spiritual area of your life: do not sacrifice spiritual things to be with people. Satan uses this tactic to keep you away from where you are to be feed. If you are feed properly, you will not walk in doubt and unbelief.

III. Guidelines for Effective Relationships
A. This is who I am (you must know who God has made you and not be moved from it)
B. This is what I believe (committed to what you believe and not vacillate from it)
C. This is what I require (the requirement must line up with the Word of God; this make the choice easy)
D. I must know the reason for the relationship (why are you here?); this reduces non-purposeful relationships.
E. I must know my role in every relationship (God gave Adam and Eve specific roles; when we understand our roles in relationships it is easy to determine whether we are beneficial or not)
F. Are the responsibilities in the relationship clearly defined?

a. Once you become desperate, you compromise your ability and criteria to make decisions.
b. Desperation will cause you to see what is not there.
c. To move to the next level of God’s best for your life, you must be able to pass the test of betrayal – II Timothy 4.
d. We must become more dependent on the Word and not people.

(c) 2010 George Matthews Ministries.  All Rights Reserved.