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04/11/2010 – “Grace and Dysfunctional Relationships” – Introduction

Believers are to publish or speak the Word to their problems to see manifestation.




April 11, 2010


Grace and Dysfunctional Relationships
Pastor George M. Matthews, II


St. John 1:17, KJV & The Amplified Bible
B. Romans 5:1-2, KJV & The Amplified Bible
C. Ephesians 3:20, KJV & The Amplified Bible
D. II Corinthians 6:14-16
E. Galatians 2:21

•Supportive Texts
a. St. John 17:17
b. I Corinthians 3:10, The Amplified Bible
c. Romans 5:17
d. Proverbs 68:11
e. St. John 16:33, KJV & The Amplified Bible
f. Job 14:1

The objective of this lesson is to understand that while we are graced by God, at times we will operate in dysfunctional relationships; that same grace will bring us out of and through our dysfunction.

A. Dysfunction always start on the shore but will lead you out into the deep.
B. When you continue to operate in dysfunction, you become unrecognizable.

A. Believers are to publish or speak the Word to their problems to see manifestation. (Proverbs 68:11)

B. Dysfunction Defined (in relationships)
 1. A dysfunctional relationship is any relationship not operating according to its created function.
 2. When anything does not function according to purpose, maximum fulfillment is not possible.

C. Additional Definitions of Grace
 1. Grace is having the advantage.
 2. Grace gives you superiority in trials.
 3. Examples of graced individuals:
  a. Daniel is graced in the lion’s den.
  b. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego are graced in the fiery furnace.

D. Salvation does not absent or exempt the believer from trouble.
 1. St. John 16:33 (KJV & The Amplified Bible)
 2. Job 14:1

I. Understanding the Nature of Dysfunctional Relationships
 A. Five Basic Categories of Relationships
  1. Business relationships  
  2. Casual relationships – relationships with associates
  3. Friendships
  4. Domestic relationships or marital relationships
  5. Kingdom relationships – once you are born again, this is the relationship between the King, the prophet and the people.
 B. Four Stages of Relationships
  1. Ecstasy – to see only the positive in the relationship.  The wisdom of God is needed in this stage of the relationship.
  2. Reality – maintaining the necessities of the relationship.
  3. Conflict/Challenge
  4. Resolve – the decision to go or stay.

 C. Dysfunction Leads to Disgrace
  1. Disgrace is the undoing of grace; which means when you function out of purpose, it brings shame or dishonor.
  2. Examples of functioning out of purpose:
   a. Lot’s relationship with his daughters is perverted (dysfunction at its greatest). (Genesis 19:30-36)
   b. A curse is dysfunctional.
    1. Deuteronomy 28:1-14; the blessing is the function of the believer.
    2. Deuteronomy 28:15 – 68; the curse, the opposite of the blessing, is dysfunctional.
   c. Saul operates in dysfunction by persecuting the church, God’s people, which God takes very personal. (Acts 9:1-6 )
    1. To move from dysfunction, like Saul to Paul, you must know who God is.
    2. In order for relationships to function properly, you must do what God has instructed you to do.
 D. The Perils of Dysfunction
  1. Dysfunction breaks your focus.
  2. Dysfunction causes you to waste time and valuable energy.
  3. Dysfunction slows down the intended pace and progress for your life.
  4. Dysfunction robs you of life changing, not to be repeated moments, in time.
 E. Indicators of Dysfunction (a dysfunctional person is categorized as a fool)
  1. A fool is a person who despises wisdom, instruction and correction from a proven mentor. (Proverbs 1:7)
  2. A fool is a person who attempts to destroy the reputation of a proven leader’s influence of others through lies, misrepresentation and foolish talk. (Proverbs 10:18)
  3. A fool is a person who reveals confidences that should be kept secret. (Proverbs 14:33)
  4. A fool is a person who’s conduct does not change even after painful consequences. (Proverbs 17:10)
  5. A fool is a person who considers that the pursuit of the wisdom of God is a wasted effort. (Proverbs 17:16)

•Additional Scripture References
1. Genesis 19:30-36
2. Deuteronomy 28:1-14
3. Deuteronomy 28:15 – 68
4. Acts 9:1-6
5. Proverbs 1:7
6. Proverbs 10:18
7. Proverbs 14:33
8. Proverbs 17:10
9. Proverbs 17:16


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